In 1997 I gave a presentation of what Nickelodeon was doing online to a room full of suits. One of those suits was an old guy who kept interrupting but kept asking really sharp, insightful questions. Eventually I sheepishly admitted to him that I didn’t know who he was. The whole room burst out laughing. “I’m Sumner Redstone,” he said and, amazingly, didn’t tell me to pack up my boxes. Later , during the coffee break I walked up to him and said…

“Mr. Redstone, I hope it’s not condescending for me to say how impressed I was with how well you seem to know the internet space, which is only just starting.”

“Listen,” he said, “I’ll bet you don’t know what a schmateh is.”

“Of course I do,” I responded. “I’m a Jew. Schmateh’s are rags, and also a term used for the garment business.”

“Right, well, my family used to be in schmatehs. And you know what I learned? EVERYTHING IS SCHMATEHS. Clothes are schmatehs, movies are schmatehs, TV networks are schmatehs. Your internet sites are schmatehs. You think it changes. It doesn’t It’s schmatehs.”

EVERYTHING IS SCHMATEHS
— Sumner Redstone, 1997

If you have some bizarre reason for wanting an “Everything is Schmatehs” coffee cup, I can oblige…